[Metafiction] The Worst Day Ever-(Revised)

“It should be somewhere around here. Oh, I must be near. Arggh, I just can’t find it!”

I was on my way to my friend Emily house two years ago. It was extremely cold that winter, so we canceled our camping trip and decided to have a sleepover party at her house. Some of the other friends were supposed to come. Emily and I were friends since 6 – now that makes us 11-year-friends. It only took my parents, who are usually strict about me going to friends’ place, 2 seconds to allow me to go. I rushed to my room, stormed through the closet and finished packing. Emily had moved and I decided to ride bicycle to the address she had told me through the phone, despite my parents’ suggestion of a car-ride. I still don’t understand why I had made such a ridiculous decision.

Anyways, I finally bumped into a mysterious object which seemed like a post box. On the post box it wrote : 8401- Featherstone street- a perfect match with the one written on the paper.

“Found it finally. Emily! I’m here!”

I pushed opened a door and went inside. However, it didn’t seem like my friend Emily’s house. The lights were too dark, no sight of people and the furniture seemed far too old. I should have left the house at that moment, but still looking for Emily, I went inside the kitchen. I was startled at a dark object sitting on the chair. She was old, and seemed too fat that I wondered if the chair was strong enough to support her.

“Hello? Isn’t this Emily’s house?”

The old woman looked up slowly and stared at me. After few minutes, she smiled and asked me,

“So are you ‘Emily’s’ friend?”I nodded, somewhat relieved that I had found the right house. The old woman offered me a seat beside her.

“Ma’am, do you know where Emily is?”

The old lady didn’t answer, and I assumed that my voice was too small for her to hear. We sat in silence until she nudged me.

“Hey, do you want to hear a story of me when I was young?”

I was surprised at how strong a woman of that age can poke when she put down her spoon, wiped her mouth, turned her chair towards me, and started talking.

I woke up in the middle of the night. It was too cold, even for a winter morning. When I opened my eyes, I found myself lying on the floor. Suddenly, all of my body started to ache. I tried to check if I had any bruises or scratches, but couldn’t because the lights were out. I had made it up to bed when the alarm rang. Groaning, I attempted to drag myself out of bed. Resolving to get up after mentally counting down from 60, I began reciting numbers in my head. I don’t think I ever got past 35. When I woke up, it was 2 in the afternoon.

I was surprised at first. However, I started to think it’s impossible. I checked the other clock. It was 8’o clock in the morning. Actually, the first clock was wrong. I started to prepare going out for finding a new job. I checked labor market. There was one work at the monkey factory. I went to the factory and met the boss who was a real monkey. The monkey surprisingly knew how to speak! Actually all the employees in the factory were primates! Somehow, I was no longer in the Earth. In fact, the place I now was at was the virtual planet of the Apes, and I seemed to be the only human in the street. I almost screamed in horror, and rushed back home.

The story seemed too bizarre. I interrupted her and asked where Emily was. She stopped talking, and suddenly held my hands tight. By then, I was starting to wander why Emily hadn’t mentioned her grandmother to me. The woman slowly opened her mouth. I slowly yanked my hands out of hers and leaned back. I was waiting for an answer.

When I opened the front door, I couldn’t believe my eyes! My family was sitting amongst a huge pile of bananas. It took me a while to move all the bananas and clear my way into the living room. What my father said was even more shocking. In a few hours, the army of the monkeys was to attack our house to get the bananas. We had to protect the bananas, every one of them, since we knew what a chaos it would become when the monkeys ate bananas. Me, my brothers and sisters ran around the house to set traps and close any windows or doors. We opened the blue print of our house and discussed where to hide all the bananas. Since there were too much, we decided to hide them separately. When time came, and a group of armed monkeys marched into our front yard, we turned all the lights off and hid under the windowsills. The suspected general started yelling at us, as if we understood their language, but of course we couldn’t. After a few minutes of deadly silence, they started banging on our door. We regretted on not blocking the door, but it was too late. They crashed opened the door and marched in. They didn’t try to turn the lights on but started to sniff. They seemed confused, since the banana smells were coming from literally everywhere. All of a sudden, the general ordered all the monkeys to seize. Then he walked towards where my little brother was hiding. Without hesitation, he pulled my brother out of the hiding place. Then the general took away the banana my brother was eating. The general started yelling at my brother. Frightened, my brother started crying. As his throat shook, the windows started shaking, then the floor and then the ceiling. It was as if the whole world was shaking.

“Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”

Stunned, I turned off the alarm clock. Groaning, I pulled myself out of the bed. I went to the kitchen and fixed myself a toast and an egg-scramble. I opened the newspaper and looked at the want column for any jobs. My another mundane day was starting off. When I went out to the streets……..

I knew when she started again with what she called her ‘own story’, she would never answer my question until she finishes her story. I tried my best to stay awake and look like I had a great in her story full of monkeys and bananas. However, I must have fallen asleep in the middle.

“Lexie, Lexie! When did you come?”

It was Emily who woke me up. I jumped out of the chair and we hugged each other and screamed of how long it had been since we saw each other.

“By the way, Lexie! What were you doing in the kitchen?”

I suddenly remembered the old woman and asked Emily,

“Emily, you never mentioned about your grandmother to me. I met her today and I think she is a great story teller! Has she told you the story of her young days?”

Emily looked confused. “My grandmother? I don’t even remember her. She was dead even before I was born. What are you talking about?”

I ran down the stairs and went to the kitchen. There were no spoons, plates nor the woman. I rushed out into the living room. The furniture were different. They were well polished. I went out to the post box. It still wrote 8401 Featherstone street, with my bicycle parked beside it.

“Pretty good manuscript, I guess.”

“I bet this is worth publishing it. I believe the author has a great potential. Just….. great!”

“Ok, so we all agree on publishing ‘The Worst Day Ever’? Then, let’s move on to ‘Why I’m awesome’.”

The room fell silent again with only sounds of fingers flipping papers, some sighs and chuckles from time to time.